four: be it

making the best of everything
wanting the best and the rest will follow
following nothing but what is yours to do, yours to choose
never allowing the hate to create a fate worse than one you're meant for
wait.
merits in all, and all is to be merited
hail! you're a failure
it builds that which needs to be built, lest what you created wilt
stilted when forced into what it is not
jilted.  by passion.  by pride.  by the perennial tide of finding and losing
finding and losing
finding and losing yourself
and the divinity in the ability to hold yourself up and keep on keeping on

three: sometimes it's nice to wake up to weather that isn't rain [no one needs to know - shania twain]

it's been rainy and gloomy for almost the past week.  i guess it's unfair for me to lump rain in with "ugly weather," i mean, the rain is the reason everything is so gorgeous and green here all the time.  it does, however, make me cold and wet when i have to go out and about.  only the smallest amount of bitterness.  YESTERDAY, however, was just divine.  pouring buckets in the morning, but by my afternoon class the sun was shining, while the rain was coming down, making for something of a picturesque view of Victory Park from my class.  then the rain stopped by the time i got out of class!  thanks Friday, you got my back.  i would have like to engage in some beers on the beach, but sleep won that argument!

speaking of sleep, i've been -trying- to kick the shit out of bronchitis for about a month, and last night i slept through without waking up in a coughing fit.  this excites me enormously.  typhoid mary: out, healthy sherri: in!  it should also be known that i had milk and cookies for breakfast.  why isn't this a more common occurrence...?  i don't know either.  staple foods for the win.

at school, we've been doing a lot a writing on topics like love and hate and it's really bringing up a lot of things that i haven't approached yet.  it's really cathartic though in terms of getting everything out, you know?  everything i wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable talking about otherwise.  maybe i'll post some excerpts on here.  i guess i really like the stream of consciousness, here's-45-minutes-write approach.

audition today for a film production project.  callback tomorrow for a different one.  wish me broken legs and stuff??

two: early start, productive morning! [aside - the weakerthans (ukulele cover) ]

so my call time isn't until 2pm today, but my biological clock appears to be on 8am call time mode.  aah well.  i am getting a buncha shit done before i leave on friday so that is something of a relief.  won't be scrambling nearly as much as i thought i might.  my life rocks right now, and i don't wanna jinx it.  but things are making me happy lately.
my timer just went off, time to change the loads.
when i return, i'm going to work on learning this song.  god i love music.

one: janis.

 "Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers. You can fill your life up with ideas and still go home lonely. All you really have that really matters are feelings. That's what music is to me."

-Janis Joplin